One thing that someone can experience a lot, after being abused as a child, is anger and even rage. Given what they went through during this stage of their life, one could say that this is to be expected.

They may have been breached weekly, if not daily, and this would have meant that their boundaries were rarely, if ever, respected. Therefore, the anger that they carry is simply there to notify them that they have been taken advantage of.

For example

This could have been a time in their life where they were regularly beaten up and left alone. Or, it could have been a time when they were treated like dirt and at least one family member touched their body inappropriately.

On the contrary, all of the above may have occurred, which means that they were violated at all levels. Regardless of what they’ve been through, it won’t be abnormal for them to have so much anger inside of them.

The ideal

In order for you to do something about this anger, it will be essential that you step back and see what is happening; that is, of course, if they don’t already know. In other words, they will have to see why they carry so much anger.

Once they do this, they will be able to see that it goes back to what happened when they were younger and seek the right help. Dealing with this anger will not happen overnight and that is why you will need to be patient and persistent.

A layer

As they begin to look at what is going on inside, they soon discover that the anger and rage they experience hides a lot of deep pain. Underneath this anger, then, there can be many ‘softer’ feelings.

So: sadness, loss, rejection, betrayal, hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness and helplessness. This anger would have been caused by being mistreated and will now be there to prevent them from having to get in touch with their deepest feelings.

Up and down

Experiencing anger can allow you to feel strong and in control, however if you were to let this go you would feel extremely vulnerable and out of control. Still, while it won’t be an easy process, it will keep your anger from controlling you.

By having this anger inside them for so long, they may even find that they have become addicted to feeling angry. Ergo, going to a deeper level will be difficult, but it will serve you well in the long run.

Steering you in the right direction

If they were to work with a therapist or healer, they might end up doing inner child work. This will then be a time when they get in touch with the childish part of themselves and allow this part of them to be seen and heard.

Because of how insecure they felt and how they were treated as children, there is probably a lot that this part of them wants to say. This part of them will be angry with one or both of their parents and there will be other things they want to express.

Work through the layers

By expressing the anger and getting to what is underneath the anger, one can begin to heal the child within them, or the children within them, as there is likely more than one child part. This may be something that needs to happen many, many times, as there are likely many layers of pain within them.

Since there were probably many, many times during their early years when they felt violated, this makes a lot of sense. With this in mind, if one hopes to put all this anger aside in one fell swoop, one is likely to be in for a big surprise, and may even spend a lot of money trying to rush something that cannot be rushed.

a different experience

However, while someone like this might end up taking a step back and looking for support, they could also take a very different route. And this could be a route someone looking for support took for a long time before they could draw the line.

In this case, someone could spend a lot of time directing their anger towards people and even institutions. Since they are not in touch with the source of their anger, they may believe that they have every right to be as angry as they are.

indirect revenge

Without realizing it, one will be drawn to different situations, circumstances, and events where they feel safe enough to express the anger that they did not feel safe enough to express as a child. From the outside, it may appear that they have every right to be angry with something or someone and may even be seen as committed to social justice, for example.

But, behind your conscious reasons for being attracted to certain things, there will be a lot of deep pain that needs to be addressed. It will not matter how much anger they express, as the pain that keeps their anger alive will still be there.


What this emphasizes is how important self-awareness is, as this will give one the ability to question why they do the things they do. Without this, one will be controlled by their own internal wounds.

So if you can see that you’ve been getting mad at the wrong people and want to do something about it, it’s a good idea to seek outside support. This support can be provided by a therapist or a healer.