Emily Post (1873-1960) was the doyen of etiquette advisers and in 1922 wrote advice on etiquette for baptisms or christenings. Some of the advice is valid today, but changes in communication methods and modern lifestyles make some of the advice seem terribly outdated. I wonder what Mrs. Post would have thought about how we behave today?

Here are some of the tips he gave for baptisms more than 80 years ago:

“Invitations to a christening are never formal, because only family and very few close friends are supposed to be asked. On this day, invitations are almost all sent by phone, except to those who are far away, or to friends. they verbally wonder when they see each other; but it is correct and polite to write notes”.

This is the form of the invitation:

“Dear Mrs. (name):

The baby will be baptized here at home, next Sunday at half past four, and we hope that you and Mr. (name) and the children, if they want, come.

Affectionately,

(Your name)

All very rigid and formal, but it seems that the telephone invitations would be communicated by a servant:

“Mr. and Mrs. Gilding, Jr. would like Mr. and Mrs. Norman to come to their house for the baby’s christening Sunday at half past four.”

Whereas, nowadays, everything would be terms of name, church attendance and communication by email, mobile/cell phone.

On the subject of godparents, Emily Post writes:

“Before setting the date of the baptism, of course, the godmothers (two for a girl and one for a boy) and the godparents (two for a boy and one for a girl) have already been chosen.

“Since godparents are always the closest of friends, it’s natural to ask them when they’re coming to see mother and baby (which they probably do often) or write to them if they’re a distance away.”

But I hadn’t realized that the invitation was supposed to be sent by the newborn:

“I arrived last night and my mother and father were very happy to see me, and now I look forward to seeing you.

your beloved godson,

(name)”

There is much more besides. Tips on what to wear, room arrangements at home and when to return the baby to the nurse (!), before moving on to the important tips on gifts and christening gifts:

“The godparents must, of course, give the baby a gift, if not before, then at least at the christening. The standard “gift” is a silver cup, porridge or a knife, fork and spoon, usually marked with the name of the baby. and that of the giver”. For example:

Adam Lee. From his godfather. stewart hersey

Of course, there is nothing to prevent other guests, especially grandparents, at the christening from giving silver christening gifts.

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