How can the needs of one person be met if the other is not ready for
give what it takes to allow a romantic relationship
evolve into a meaningful union for life?
If a person is ready to move on, ready to create a
more intimate connection, and the other does not, then what?
Many people could have reached the level of intimacy and
commitment they wanted if only they had received the patience,
compassion and understanding of the other. However, many
people are childish when it comes to matters of the heart.
Many do not have the patience to work on a relationship if
does not meet all your expectations as fast as
would like. As a result, you have breakups, people yearn for
each other, people with pain in the heart, when it’s simple
compassion and understanding could have brought them all
they wished over time.
Many people end relationships because they do not understand
that friendship is the key, that they need to build
trusting and enjoying each other’s company without all the formality
Dating or courtship behaviors.
Yes, dating, dating, sex, romance are vital for a romantic person.
relationship, but there are many people who have problems
of privacy to work first. Many people need
go slow and build confidence, reaching a certain level of comfort
with someone before they can commit. So in this
case, if one is ready for an exclusive and committed relationship
and the other no, instead of ending hastily and prematurely
the relationship, turn it into friendship.
Stop the pressures of dating and dating. Allow yourself
to join in a deep, respectful and trusting union as
friends, like best friends.
If the attraction is there, if the chemistry is right, if the
the two of you have a lot in common and share important
goals, why should that beautiful experience end completely?
Instead, growth and development can continue
of your friendship, which, after all, is the true
foundation of any royal marriage.
So if you are ready for engagement and your partner is
no, release the pressure and just be friends. Best friends. Not
sex, no dates, no intimacy by candlelight. You will find that as
The bond of friendship grows, as trust deepens, the
who was not previously ready is suddenly ready. And you
I’ve been there all the time You came from your heart to
give understanding rather than demand a compromise
of emotions and actions that the other was simply not willing to give.
Time heals fear.
Time builds trust and love grows over time.
However, you may find that physical chemistry is
Still strong. If you really want to share the love or
passion between us, do not deny or repress it, because
doing so causes tension. Go with the flow of your genuine
feelings. If you are attracted to each other, show it. Yes
want to sleep together and cuddle, do it!
There is nothing wrong with showing love. Evil is deny
your love, your chemistry and your feelings just to settle
to a rigid belief or “should” with respect to society
dating or dating expectations. There is no “should”
there is only truth. If you feel love and attraction, don’t do it.
retain it; teach it.
If one of you wants a monogamous relationship and
the other is just not ready for it, so you have to decide
what’s most important to you: genuinely sharing time
they have together or settle for not having each other in
their lives at all.
When you let the word “should” control your life,
discovers that you are no longer in control of accomplishing all that
want. This is not the same as “settling down.” Settling down is when
deny what’s genuinely in your heart because your head says
you are wrong and what you “should” do or not do
something.
Is it really wrong to sleep with someone you adore and are?
physically attracted just because you’re not ready to do
A monogamous formal commitment?
Not.
Is it really wrong to sleep with someone you love?
deeply and are attracted because it is not an exclusive,
Monogamous relationship?
Not
The only “should” that can properly govern your life
is that you must do what is genuinely in your heart. No matter
what society tells you, no matter what others tell you, yeah
It’s true and it’s in your heart, so it’s true and it’s right for
you. What is to be your best friend and your best friend
with the person you love but with whom you are not formally committed.
Commit to the genuine truth in your heart. Express that,
and you will feel validated, whole and complete inside.
One of the reasons relationships fail is that a person seeks validation
for the other. But when you validate your own worth,
when you receive respect and admiration from yourself and
you do not need it to come from the other, then you will have a
quality that is the basis of pure love: the ability to give.
Give understanding instead of expectation.
Give patience instead of haste.
Give compassion instead of ego satisfaction.
Give friendship instead of demanding a commitment
the other may not be ready to do.
Because what you sow, you will reap. As you give, so do you
be given in return. When leaving your comfort zone
to be there for the other, you will find that in time, they
step out of their comfort zone to return your goodness to
you.
They will give, they will commit to you, because you will have
show them that you are worthy of their commitment, and
They will ask you to share your life with them.
Because he is the one who endures both the good times and
difficult times who finally wins love, respect, admiration,
and commitment of the other. It’s very weird
have someone in your life who will be there for you as a true
friend; This is a gift.
Relationships are testing grounds; they test the bond, the
resistance, respect for oneself and for the other.
How can you expect someone to commit for life?
to you if first they do not see that you are capable
to face the challenges that arise during the early stages
of a relationship?
You see, life brings challenges. Life brings circumstances
that you must overcome. If you love a boyfriend or a girlfriend,
and they can’t be there for you for the first few hours
relationship challenges, how can you expect
that they commit to you for life?
Couples who have successfully overcome challenges
of their relationship will tell you that it requires work
in oneself and beyond one’s needs to really be there for him
other; it takes work to build a relationship that can last
the tests of life and the test of time.
When you’re not ready but you can’t let go
Life will continue to challenge you in all your personal aspects.
relationships until you face it head-on and figure it out.
For example, if you have a problem with your commitment or
intimacy, you will find that same challenge in every relationship,
until one day you meet that person who provokes you
look inside, search your heart to find the answer. In order to
when you find true love, another soul with which you feel a
indescribable bond, that person will make you search inside
to cure the problem that blocks the flow of happiness that you deserve
in your life.
And when you search within for a solution, you will have
everything you really want. If you don’t, you will live with regret.
To search or not to search is always your choice.
You can choose to move from one empty relationship to another,
year after year, or you can choose to do that
comes when the ties of love and friendship are
combined, and that those ties are too valuable and precious
discard once you’ve found the only person who
makes you turn around. When you have healed
through that relationship, you will be ready to commit
to that person with true love.
© Copyright Barbara Rose, all rights reserved. Excerpt from Individual power: Claiming your essence, your truth and your life. Published by The Rose Group (2003) ISBN: 097414570X