What do you do when your teenage daughter comes in and tells you she’s pregnant? Strangling her is not an option.
The “real world” is already too hard for teenagers and now their baby is having a baby. How you respond will be the factor in your success or failure. She has spent time educating her on abstinence and birth control and it all went out the window. You are wondering what you did wrong. She feels that she has done everything right, but now her teenage daughter is pregnant. This kind of thing still happens and her daughter will need it more than ever.
At this point your parenting moves from prevention to preparation. Your feelings should be compassion and empathy. She’s trying to deal with all the emotions she’s going through and she doesn’t understand how to deal with them, but as a mom, you can help her examine them and talk about them. Believe it or not, many teens trying to get pregnant simply lack the maturity to make responsible decisions. She is not mature enough to raise a child, she has not experienced life enough to understand what affects her decisions immediately and the future actions she takes will affect both her and her baby for the rest of their lives. lives. Teenagers not only lack experience and maturity, but their brains aren’t really fully operational, as a parent, you have the opportunity to teach her the skills she’s going to need.
Creating a plan:
She may have extensive childcare experience, which is great because she will have the basic skills needed to raise this child, but has she had the experience of being extremely sleep deprived? What about all the problems that come with raising a newborn? Only experience can give her the coping skills she’s going to need. Have honest conversations with her. What is her plan? Most likely, she has no idea. Sit her down and help her come up with a plan, the plan needs to address where everyone will live, are you going to let the father move in? They are going to get married? What about child care? Is homeschooling an option for her? What is the father’s plan? Is she going to give her monetary support, moral support, what is her position in all of this?
Just remember, your teenage daughter has no idea what’s coming, he’s even worse off than her. As a general rule, children take longer to mature, so all the mistakes she’s making are also having a life-changing effect on him and his family.
Don’t make her feel guilty. There is nothing she can do right now except help her make good decisions. She is now pregnant and apart from giving him up for adoption, she has no options. There is such an important event in her life that she won’t push him away from her, she needs all the support she can get, even if she acts like she doesn’t care or even if she isn’t happy for the little grandson she has. comes into the world. There are so many things that her teenager is feeling. Teenagers already have the mindset that this word is about them, they just lack the ability to see the future, proving once again that her brain is immature and she can’t make real adult decisions. Think back to when you were a teenager and you made decisions that were about you, right?
Unless you were a teenager, you can’t really put yourself in their shoes, but just remember what stupid decisions you made.
Both you and your daughter are probably feeling embarrassed right now. Most of the time, the teen feels embarrassed, especially if she hasn’t told anyone. It’s a scary time for her. Make sure to keep communication open. She’s really going to need it. What about the guilt and shame of it. Of course she is embarrassed because this is happening under her supervision. You don’t know what you did wrong, this didn’t happen to “good girls”. Reality your daughter is the same person she has always been but she has made some bad decisions. Deal with your embarrassment by talking to your spouse or an understanding friend. Don’t blame your teenage daughter.
Studies reported in 2010 found the following.
1. Moms of teens are at higher risk of not finishing high school.
2. Less than 2 percent of teen mothers go to college. 3. Babies born to teenage mothers are 50 percent more likely to be behind their peers the same age.
4. Information on teen pregnancy can be found on the Internet. Try www.TeenPregnancy.org
5. The CDC suggests that one of the most effective and efficient ways to prevent teen pregnancy is to educate teens in school using the school curriculum.
The role of grandparents:
Let your daughter be the mother. Grandparents often intervene because they want to help her daughter but because she doesn’t know what to do. She offers support, which is your job. Teach her how to take care of the baby and let her learn. She has to make her own mistakes as a mother. She will see what mistakes she is making or what she is doing differently than she would. This is her baby and she has to learn to make mistakes or she will ask for help. As a grandfather, this should be one of the greatest joys of your life. Let it be. Have faith in her and, more importantly, keep communication open so she doesn’t mind coming to you for advice.