Have you ever heard of the term genuine, authentic, or original, as applied to a person or their character? For a long time, whenever I came across those terms in spoken or written prose, I couldn’t quite understand what the terminology meant. I took it as another one of those buzzwords whose genre has arrived and warned me to brace myself as its use bombards us further.
Recently, I reflected on a third incident I experienced that completed my trilogy by helping me explain what it really is to be genuine. Sometimes it’s really hard to just explain something based on what you read elsewhere. But to truly understand and feel the circumstance, nothing better than a real life experience. I share with you 3 true events that my wife and I experienced that help solidify my understanding. Hopefully, it will help solidify yours.
State #1. The real estate agent. Several years ago, my wife and I wanted to look at an investment property near where we live. We regularly get this real estate spam with a photo of a real estate agent and we think, why not give them a call? We always read his articles and the photo of him showed him as a professional. We called and made an appointment for 3:00 pm on a summer afternoon. The day came and we arrived minutes before our appointment time. He came, but when he got out of his car and started walking towards us, in a flash, I thought, “Oh, he must have been late and sent his son in his place. Wait a minute! That’s him. Wow! He It’s certainly much older than all the photos in your email show.” Yes, he was definitely much older today than the ad and flyer photos of him showed. The presentation went well and it was very good to collaborate with him. But he really got me thinking about who he thought he was dealing with.
Lesson 1. There is nothing wrong with working with a younger or older person. For real estate agents, image is everything, I know. But, I want to know exactly who I’m going to work with and what they look like, preferably today!
State #2. The professional announcer. I connected with a professional speaker, author, and social media guru some time ago through her LinkedIn profile and her Twitter feed. I reviewed much of her articles and developed a sincere, albeit virtual, trust. Since she lives out of town, I never attended any of her live events. I was finally presented with the opportunity to meet her in person at one of her local shows where I live. He could certainly use her experience and take in what she had to say. So I registered online and the night of the event I arrived early, hoping to be able to connect, chat and maybe make a connection with her. I arrive and enter the back of the meeting room to find several people in the front, standing and chatting. I’ve seen her profile pictures on her website and her social media pages, so I knew exactly who to look for. My eyes quickly scanned the front with only 5 people to visually confront. But it took me several sweeps to find it and just by the process of elimination, I identified it. wow! Did she ever look different? I’m not saying this for better or for worse. I mean different than what I was led to believe she would see. Honestly, I never would have made the connection if I hadn’t known she was already here. This was the first time I experienced meeting someone so contrasting in her appearance from what the pictures showed of her.
Lesson 2. People want to know who they are dealing with and what they look like… TODAY. Even though the books or writings you published years ago have a more youthful look, you should still have a current image of yourself in your advertising brochures and social networks, as you see today. Of course, no one is going to republish their books from years ago, to keep up-to-date photos of themselves. But they should post their current photos in promotional material for a current event, on their website, social media, or in print.
State #3. We are amateur broadcasters. Several weeks ago, a good friend asked me if she could come and practice her introductory speech in front of my wife and I so she could get some criticism and feedback to improve. I’ve given many speeches, both in workshops and contests, but my wife is a total virgin at it and she would be a great candidate for feedback, to make sure her delivery wasn’t “over the top”. As we listened and watched Take #1, then Take #2, my wife made some comments. She felt that it may be a bit “over the top” and not genuine for the average non-speaking layman. She felt that she did not feel quite herself giving birth; that she may have been acting up a bit. On occasion, my wife has also commented on my way of speaking and not sounding like myself, true or genuine. She said, “It sounds more rehearsed and acting, than just being yourself and delivering it in a conversational way.” It was then that I realized that she was right. Then I realized that speakers have to have various levels of delivery, for the same presentation. This allows us to quickly assess and gauge our audience, then adjust our level of body language and vocal variety, to appear believable and sincere. much of that fit is driven by who our audience is and their level of speaking acumen. In this way, we speakers can vary our authenticity for maximum credibility. Sometimes there can be too much body action for some attendees, labeling us as showmen, playwrights or theatrical. So for us aspiring speakers, we need to develop various levels of delivery.
Lesson 3. For us aspiring speakers, we must have various levels of authenticity that we can deliver to gain maximum credibility from our audience or attendees. Speakers can sometimes be rated by their specific presentation style, which becomes how they are known. This becomes your brand; your brand.
Sometimes we come across people who, during a conversation with us, just seem fake, plastic, unreal, rehearsed, role-playing, drama inflicted, and just not very believable. It can even begin to affect the idea or concept that we are trying to convey to our attendees. They set up a mental wall or barrier for us. We don’t fully connect with them.
So how do you feel? What is your level of authenticity? Do you present yourself as genuine? Use my 3 examples above to help you first understand what being genuine really encompasses. Then use these examples to help shape your level of authenticity, your authenticity. Use my tips above to help you be more genuine, authentic, to be yourself.