Have you ever thought about the big difference between the phrases “I have to” and “I get to”? In an age where there are so many opportunities vying for our attention, we tend to lose sight of the fact that the work we do and the families we raise are amazing privileges that swell or shrink with meaning and joy, depending on appreciation and intent. we put into appreciating them and excelling in them.
I recently had the choice of seeing something as a “have to” or “have to”. It was a 2,985-mile drive across the United States to drop off a son and her car in Jacksonville, Florida. It could be a task or an adventure… an endurance test or a relationship privilege.
The years we invest as parents have been painted by a consumer and career culture as “lost years.” While I recognize that sometimes our children want or need us at times that are not convenient, in reality, the precious parenting years go by very quickly. Why rush? Why not revel in the friendship that can grow with children in their teens and twenties? Why view your many tasks as “I have to do this” instead of “Wow, I can do this for or with my kids or my spouse.” Man, I’m going to dig into it and appreciate it, because we never know how much time I’ll have and relationships matter more than anything else.”
This week, I thought I’d share an excerpt from my journal entry on our cross-country trip. My hope is that you not only enjoy reading about our adventures, but that you recognize that seeing things as opportunities rather than drudgery can bring to life even the simple tasks we do at work, the care we take in our home environment , and the joy we put into getting our kids to school, practices, parties, games, and more.
Enjoy reading our adventures. When you’re done, leave a comment sharing your own “I get to” experience.
“Kory and I are driving across the United States to Jacksonville, Florida for her public relations internship, her first real job after graduating college. Our goal is to hit 600 miles a day with a little fun along the way. We played a 9 hole golf course in Butte Montana from 8pm the way and he called it a long fun day.
On Tuesday we hit Rapid City and went down to Mount Rushmore which was great. But the males gave him the “we came, we saw, we defeated… and we left”. Soon, we were out of there, reloading our bodies at Arbys (plus tossing the football in the parking lot) and heading back to the highway before dark. I was enjoying a late-night swim in Mitchell, South Dakota, in our Best Western, when Kory got a call from his girlfriend.
Our only fight of the trip came in Montana when I tried to take a picture of him driving with the backdrop of a large Montana cliff formation out his window. She raised her hand to protect the camera and said “no.” I insisted “yeah, that’s why I bought this $7 portable camera”. He was crazy. Kory was firm. I said it was “stupid” not to let me take the picture of him. He said she was “stupid” for insisting. No photo, but I was fooled by a photo of him half-smiling with Mount Rushmore in the background.
Thursday night we spent our first night with friends, Michael and Debbie, and some of their children and dogs. Home cooked meals, conversation, a couple sessions of Jack Bauer intensity on “24” and we were ready for our fifth day of six hundred miles and arriving in Jacksonville on Friday night.
Kory got to swim in the Atlantic for the first time. We tossed the ball at a beach in Jacksonville, our fifth state we’ve thrown the ball to in a week. We met Kory’s roommates and his bosses and it felt great flying home Monday to the echo in my ears of Kory saying, “I couldn’t have two better roommates or bosses.” I shook his hand, told him I loved him and it was crystal clear after spending a week with this great guy when I said “you’re going to do great in this race of yours”.