As human beings, uncertainty is something we really don’t like. And we are all experiencing the greatest period of uncertainty in our history.
Uncertainty is contagious and fuels anxiety in many of us. We try to pay attention to every opinion or scenario, and we end up feeling overwhelmed. And that’s because uncertainty triggers the fear part of our brain.
Fear is a normal human emotion. Our brain has developed considerably over millions of years. The previous part allowed us to feel the threat of tigers and mammoths, so that we could protect ourselves and survive. Look for any threats so that we can fight, flee or freeze. As we progressed, our brains developed the ability to plan, become self-aware, and be creative. The problem was that it also gave us the ability to worry, to think negatively (about life and ourselves), and to feel anxious about the future.
But there is also something positive that we can learn to regain control, once we become aware of the emotions we are experiencing. We are responsible for our own thinking and our own behaviors, no matter how hard we try to blame others or the situations we find ourselves in. The situation may be out of our control, but the way we react is in our control.
Our emotions are great signals to be aware of and curious about. They have helpful messages. We don’t “have to” be positive all the time, or punish ourselves if we feel negative from time to time. Give yourself a break, as it’s okay to not be okay for a while.
However, staying in a negative state can negatively affect your long-term physical and mental health. Although fear helps us survive, when mixed with emotions around uncertainty, it can cause something bad for our health: anxiety.
When we are in a negative emotional state such as anxiety, we move on to fight, flight, or freeze. When we are in this mode, we also tend to see more negative aspects and this ends up getting out of control. (This is bad … and this happened … and then this … and then this, etc.)
And when we worry, our worries can seem enormous. We believe that if we worry about something, we are more prepared. But in reality it is the opposite. If we stay in this “survival” mode for a long time, it can increase feelings of irritability and low mood, affecting our focus, clarity, and logical thinking. Who wants to live like this for a long time?
But we can, and we do, get out of this spiral of negativity. We can begin to use another part of our brain that is excited to see the positives, can make connections, can be creative, and find flexible solutions to our current situations. This is not only better for your mental health, but it also has a better and significant impact on the health of your body.
So how do we reduce negativity and increase positivity?
Here are some suggestions for you to try. You can find one that seems easier to do every day, or make a different one every day, or mix and match as you like.
STAY IN THE MOMENT
When we have negative emotions (such as anger, sadness, guilt, fear, pain), we think about our past. When we are anxious or worried, we think about our future. Staying in the moment (in the NOW) helps to alleviate these emotions, reducing their power. Stay in the here and now, without too many steps or days ahead. If you start to wander too far, focus your thinking on what is right in front of you at that moment and focus on it for a few minutes.
MEDITATION
Meditation is about participating in a thought process that allows thoughts to just come and go. This is a powerful way to enter the NOW. There are online apps and videos that you can use.
TO BREATHE
When you feel anxious, breathe and allow yourself a few seconds to calm down.
• Inhale through your nose for a count of five
• Hold your breath for a count of two to four
• Breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of seven.
• Allow your rib cage to rise and fall without forcing it
SIX POSITIVES
When you start to recognize the positives, this signals the brain to find even more of them! They become easier to find. Just like training the muscles in your body through regular practice of a technique, you can do the same with your brain. So every day, write 6 positive statements about that day. They can be about anything, big or small, but they must be positive. For example, a bird singing, a chat with a friend, a new exercise, a delicious cup of coffee, the moon shining, the radio playing your favorite song, the perfect place to park – the little things that make life enjoyable. Writing them down also gives you something nice to remember and remember.
DAILY
If you start to feel overwhelmed, write down your concerns, thoughts, and beliefs in a journal. Getting them out of your head and onto paper keeps them from spinning back and forth in your mind. Then look at what you have written and question if it is real or if it is something you think “could” happen. If they are real, can you do something about them or is it out of your control? If it is within your control, what is the next small step you can take to help solve it? Just one step at a time.
CONNECTION
Connection is one of our greatest human needs, and the current situation is holding back our normal ways of feeling connected to others. Use the various online facilities and those on your phone to talk with friends and family. It’s okay to ask for help and ask for a chat.
It’s great to spend more time on phone calls with your friends and family, but that leaves a lot of free time on both sides of those calls. The connection is often just about being with someone, without having to say anything. This is a challenge with social distancing and isolation. So if you are alone, you can organize a time with a loved one, where you can sit and watch a movie, work together, read together, etc. (but in a different way than normal). Each of you sets up your phone, tablet or laptop, Facetime or one of the video conferencing sites, where you can see the other person. And they can sit together silently, without having to say anything at all.
Helping others is another form of connection (be it a small gesture, a phone call, providing assistance) – it helps the other person, but you get a dopamine and you feel good too.
EXERCISE
Instead of being tempted by the candy bar, comfort food, or a glass of wine for a quick “feel good” boost, use exercise to reduce anxiety and stress. Exercise helps release endorphins that give it a natural high. This helps to relieve the stress you are feeling, allowing your body to relax and break the “fight or flight” cycle in which it is trapped. Find enjoyable ways to exercise indoors, take a walk in the garden (or other places outside, where you can).
LAUGHTER
It’s perfectly okay to laugh; in fact, humans are very good at finding the fun side of life to get through the most difficult moments. You will be better able to cope with worries and view worries as less important if you can begin to see the humor around you. Find a funny movie or TV show, call friends to share funny stories, play with the kids, and more. Just think, 2020 will also be known for its interesting hairstyles!
Use Moodshifters, which help you change your mood from negative to positive in an instant. Think of two or three different events in your life that really made you laugh, giggle, feel extremely happy. Visualize and clearly remember what you saw, heard, and felt emotionally. When you need a mood boost, think about those moments and live in the good feelings. It really works, as the same “feel good” hormones flow throughout the body, just as it originally did.
Smile – Strangely enough, forcing a smile on your face can often make you feel happy. This is one of the strange ways that humans are connected. Give it a try, you might be surprised!
LISTEN TO MUSIC
Listening to music lifts our spirits. We play our favorite song and a smile is drawn on our faces. Find the music that works for you: you can dance around the room to the rhythm of the happy ones or relax to the rhythm of the soothing ones. You can always take a photo of yourself dancing and send it to friends and family, which also brings connection and laughter!
COOLING TIME
Take time each day to do what feels good to you. This could be a hot bath, a massage, a walk in the country, or reading a book in the sun, for example.
MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS
Set some actions or goals for your day or week, write a planner of the things you want to accomplish, list the tasks you want to accomplish that you haven’t had time to do before. Only small actions are required, and they will give you a little certainty in your life! Remember that they are there to guide you and not to beat you up.
Maintain a sense of normalcy whenever you can, such as waking up at the same time as usual, eating at your usual time, etc.
BE CREATIVE
Loneliness allows creative thoughts to flourish. Research suggests that people are better able to come up with their best ideas on their own. How can you use your creativity for your future? You can come up with wonderful new ideas to make others laugh, find new ways to help others, and more. Are there new hobbies that you would like to try, courses that you always wanted to do, a book to write or an artist within you waiting to be released in the world?
Your day is yours to make the most of it.
PROTECT YOUR OWN ENERGY
Other people can drag you into their dramas or leave you exhausted after talking to them. They will want you to agree with their opinion about how bad things are. But this won’t make you feel better. Protect your energy levels. They are responsible for their minds, you are responsible for yours. So you can try one of the tools here to get back to your own positive state. And if you feel good, you certainly don’t need to feel guilty about it.
KNOW THAT THIS TIME WILL PASS
Nothing stays the same for long. There will be a time when this will be in the past, even though it has made history! You can still think of plans and dreams for the future.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
We are amazing and resilient, adaptable, smart, and capable of change for the better. We are unique from other species in that we have the ability to control our behavior, to train ourselves to be emotionally fit, and to create inner strength. Our lives are shaped by the difficult times we have been through and from which we have learned. We are strong and we will find a way through our challenges; we always have and always will. You have done it before, you can do it now.
Stay safe, stay inside. When we work together, we all win.